hm.

I guess I really have to tell you everything now. Straight, the only reason, I dont like to tell you things is only because you will be angry 90% if I tell you about things , and when your angry and when I tell you , you would reply , 'whatever' , 'dont no'. How to really tell you things this way. It will only make things worse. No one would go and spoil their happy time, correct?
Whenever, you want things you know, like suddenly want things but I really couldnt afford, I would.. think, I dont have the ability to do so.. Yes , I will buy them but it would be at monthsary like I am buying something for you this 1st Oct , and when you want something , I couldnt stop it , you want means you want it. I dont no how to make you understand.
I never respect your uncle, I respect every elder, the main thing I am putting on respect is the way he handle things just now. Its no way I am giving up my respect, I never shout at people uncle than me unless they disrespect me first.
There are limits to things, its not a want then you will confirm get it, I use to think this way, is like you want this boyf then you will get ? Nope , sometimes, things will block us, if we cannot continue something , we change plans by being flexible we find other way out. -> Dont have to get a perfect boyf , get someone thinks that they are suitable for you. Like you know if you cant have steamboat today, you can have it tomorrow , if its close today , you also lanlan right?
Its my fault, I didnt fulfill my promise , cause I promised you going to house stay for the whole period and now I can only stay like weekends.. that is because there are things we cannot predict and control ya, but I promise that I would go as long as I could , cause I know even you want me to not go your house cause its very inconvient. I am not God , I cant change things, I cant make it the way I want it just because I want it. I am just a mere boy, havent even get into adult stage.
I am also so sorry , I forgot your probation , most probably the most important things , you shout by at me. Ouch, it really hurt, everytime. You may not mean it but ... I took everything seriously, I cant act as nothing happened cause its part of it , like girls, they remembered every single shit guys say to them , I really will do my part to really understand you but there are really so much things , that will disappoint you , i could remember alot of you , i cant remember all of yours because I really not superman , i aint perfect. but i would never stop trying you know.
There is things like asking before assuming , on this , its really easy , as long as we both dare to ask nothing would go wrong. yes I would like to tell you everything , only if I got the chance...
The only thing I dont like is when you angry , i cant talk to you and everything you said will hurt , thats the most main thing...
I wouldnt spoil any more ...  you know when I need to promise , I will think about it. but you came along with your puppy eyes , so cute ! and keep spam me 'please please please please ! promise me!!' next time , I will think before I promise okay ? all because I was worried you get disappointed but now your feeling even more than disappointment because of broken promises. so I know whats wrong on this.
I am feeling the same exact feeling , I would also try my best to you know spend all most time with you , but my thought are different , as long as I could spend time with you , just by your side... you know I would be really happy , even listening to your voice on the phone.. thats enough , I dont expect much .. i really hope I would spend all my other time on you but there are things that are also important . but just all this is making it worth it and really just on you . its worth my time.
thanks , i know that you appreciate stuff i do . but do you know by buying stuff , all this it takes effort , they dont come easily , i plan stuff , i plan where to go , buy what food for you. even when I dont have enough money , juust to make you happy , I wouldnt want to take my meals , just because its that worth it.
my family has always been on finiacial problem , if i just stop working , i would never really afford my own stuff you know... and its really important for me... once i stopped i would have problem ... but the thing is ... i still have dreams , i want to make them come true.
its me , i dont really change for people , we are the same from the start, that part of me is still there, but we have to always fight the thing infront of us before going back there , it will naturally come.
just like any love song . they have meanings behind every song. its time , we really need to talk about , and there must be things we need to accept you know.. it doesnt come with perfect , its a relationship you fight together then you will earn it. and treat it the most important thing ever.