Dreams.

I really still want to. Those promises we made, plans...
Going USS, Halloween, Flyers, just with me, both of us. Zoo , everything ,
everything I wanna just do it with you, no one else...
I need you... really,
Only if you know, we are gonna change things once we are together again , restarting all over
again, forget everything we had in september...
How I wish. I am dying for your smile, its so far since I haveto see it. I need to work for it all over again , where its reeally a smile just full of happiness...

30th Sept.

Woah, now so complicated,
17 more minutes to 1st month, I rather not celebrate it, I would choose 1st as our date again if only its possible, only when we really change. I would choose to restart, and I would still you choose you. I dont need some girls whose already good to come in, I want someone who really needs me, make use of me.

Was really misunderstanding, you already told me its impossible that you would change the taiwan trip, you even put your stand, you said no matter what happens, you would still go with him.. then you told me he liked you and still chasing after you. Of course, the first moment I heard that I would really decide on holding or not. Cause if loyal, of course your willing to give up... THEN you gave it up really just for me. Now its my fault. Me to blame, now no matter what I do, I won't get you back. Regret yeah?

Instead waiting for miracle to happen, I will look for miracle...

Nights baby girl, stop crying, I am really sorry...

30.9.2012

Have you been drinking ? I am as worried , I keep it cause I knew if I said you might drink more. Thats what I am really afraid of. Your stubborn I dont no how to control ya know ? If only you know everything I do was for you. I wanna hear you. I wanna know. What happened recently. Dont sick please. Cause not now , at least when we are okay? I still want to be the reason you smile ya know ? I am not , dont assume , its not like when we break , I will leave you alone. I will still love you until I cannot do it anymore. Now I guess the only problem was just.. my time and not making time ? I would I always ask what you have... I look forward always , when we are both free. Then we make time..

Really go to your feelings , if you cannot take my way of managing time... then eventually we will go down... correct ?

hm.

I guess I really have to tell you everything now. Straight, the only reason, I dont like to tell you things is only because you will be angry 90% if I tell you about things , and when your angry and when I tell you , you would reply , 'whatever' , 'dont no'. How to really tell you things this way. It will only make things worse. No one would go and spoil their happy time, correct?
Whenever, you want things you know, like suddenly want things but I really couldnt afford, I would.. think, I dont have the ability to do so.. Yes , I will buy them but it would be at monthsary like I am buying something for you this 1st Oct , and when you want something , I couldnt stop it , you want means you want it. I dont no how to make you understand.
I never respect your uncle, I respect every elder, the main thing I am putting on respect is the way he handle things just now. Its no way I am giving up my respect, I never shout at people uncle than me unless they disrespect me first.
There are limits to things, its not a want then you will confirm get it, I use to think this way, is like you want this boyf then you will get ? Nope , sometimes, things will block us, if we cannot continue something , we change plans by being flexible we find other way out. -> Dont have to get a perfect boyf , get someone thinks that they are suitable for you. Like you know if you cant have steamboat today, you can have it tomorrow , if its close today , you also lanlan right?
Its my fault, I didnt fulfill my promise , cause I promised you going to house stay for the whole period and now I can only stay like weekends.. that is because there are things we cannot predict and control ya, but I promise that I would go as long as I could , cause I know even you want me to not go your house cause its very inconvient. I am not God , I cant change things, I cant make it the way I want it just because I want it. I am just a mere boy, havent even get into adult stage.
I am also so sorry , I forgot your probation , most probably the most important things , you shout by at me. Ouch, it really hurt, everytime. You may not mean it but ... I took everything seriously, I cant act as nothing happened cause its part of it , like girls, they remembered every single shit guys say to them , I really will do my part to really understand you but there are really so much things , that will disappoint you , i could remember alot of you , i cant remember all of yours because I really not superman , i aint perfect. but i would never stop trying you know.
There is things like asking before assuming , on this , its really easy , as long as we both dare to ask nothing would go wrong. yes I would like to tell you everything , only if I got the chance...
The only thing I dont like is when you angry , i cant talk to you and everything you said will hurt , thats the most main thing...
I wouldnt spoil any more ...  you know when I need to promise , I will think about it. but you came along with your puppy eyes , so cute ! and keep spam me 'please please please please ! promise me!!' next time , I will think before I promise okay ? all because I was worried you get disappointed but now your feeling even more than disappointment because of broken promises. so I know whats wrong on this.
I am feeling the same exact feeling , I would also try my best to you know spend all most time with you , but my thought are different , as long as I could spend time with you , just by your side... you know I would be really happy , even listening to your voice on the phone.. thats enough , I dont expect much .. i really hope I would spend all my other time on you but there are things that are also important . but just all this is making it worth it and really just on you . its worth my time.
thanks , i know that you appreciate stuff i do . but do you know by buying stuff , all this it takes effort , they dont come easily , i plan stuff , i plan where to go , buy what food for you. even when I dont have enough money , juust to make you happy , I wouldnt want to take my meals , just because its that worth it.
my family has always been on finiacial problem , if i just stop working , i would never really afford my own stuff you know... and its really important for me... once i stopped i would have problem ... but the thing is ... i still have dreams , i want to make them come true.
its me , i dont really change for people , we are the same from the start, that part of me is still there, but we have to always fight the thing infront of us before going back there , it will naturally come.
just like any love song . they have meanings behind every song. its time , we really need to talk about , and there must be things we need to accept you know.. it doesnt come with perfect , its a relationship you fight together then you will earn it. and treat it the most important thing ever.

APPRECIATED !

Hey baby girl ! You know my birthday just ended , and you know from start all the way , from monday ! you met me when you dont even want to , when you ended up sad going home .. and even came back second day just for me ! I really do appreciate . those shirts ! are nice ! they are from your heart ! and most specially its about the cake ! i finished the cake this morning . haha ! its very tall you know ? now arguing with you ... really have to make a decision ... its about you . i dont regret to things i do , yes i do it my way , i dont change and as long its integrity. anyway. the cake was from your heart , totally agreed with cousin . and lastly you even planned buffet with me on actual day on my birthday ! <3 really appreciate it , even though , you were angry with things and stuff , but I love you thats all i really know , when you love someone its really like the apple of my eyes , you just wanna see them happy , thats all...


NO , I NEVER WAS LYING , I WAS ADMIRING THE WAY YOUR UNCLE DO THINGS , I RESPECT, I TOLD YOU I WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER GUYS. HE HAS HIS STAND , HE CARED FOR AHMA.
I am really different from other guy , I ain't that person who you really look for , but , I can be the person you really love . When time comes it will make sense , people cherish after that lost , and only think ..

28sept , happybirthday yaosiang :)

Hey ! Baby girl , i know time is getting lesser , its because whatever johnathan said was correct. if there even money , its impossible this relationship would carry on ... now your quarreling , very angry ... but I am super hurt , i dont no how long i can hang on ... but ... i dont no ... sometimes , i am not really superman you know ? I fail ... really . Im sorry ... i couldnt be perfect , maybe there is more perfect boys , jsut just want you to know i keeps trying everytime , i just dont want you to climb over me ... i try to change that .. might lose you but I will try as long as there is hope...

and i just wanna say thanks for everything , the birthday , you even pon school just for my birthday ... dont no what to say , wordless ... i know you really do love me .. you know .. i really appreciate everything you did for me .

wtf can i do.

NIGHTS ♥

Hey ! :) Nights baby girl ! I love you and I fucking miss you leyyy . I know you knoww too right :P But finally tomorrow can see you already ! Ah like after three LONG days :( Sweet dreams :) SEE YOU TOMORROWW ! MUACKS , loves hugssss ! ^^

Just continuing believing , everything will go out smooth , if you dont like yourself , then change. Cause you only changes only for your own not for others okay ? Hahaaa yeaaa . ^^

SILLY GIRL.

Hey , I know , its been really tough on you. Doing so much in a just started relationship is really something. I know , I just wanna let you know I super appreciate what your doing. And I never take it for granted. All this are words of affirmation. I know you always go think negative if I ain't trying, but I am finding another way to let you not think too much, now not gonna ask you to put every trust and hope , time will let you understand how much I really care for you and how much I am taking this relationship seriously. You been through a lot of relationship, therefore you might think it will never last but I tell you , I will never give up on this relationship, I will take whatever, even when your not mine. All I hope is your dont hurt yourself okay ? And try share stuff with me :) Appreciate whats around you :) We really been through a lot yea ? In just a short time , mountains keep coming , when your tired , dont give up , just climb on me and I will piggy back you all the way. For the money , now I cant promise nice treats but in the future of course :) We live our own lifeee ! Hehe . Try to make sure you control my money okay ? :P I also spendthrift when money goes out , I dont care :P I JUST KNOW ITS WORTH THE THINGGG , CAUSE ITS YOU I LOVEEEE !

HAPPY WITH YOU FOREVERRRR ! <3

Good Nights Baby Girl :)

Hey baby girl ! So sorry , its been a few nights since we had night talks ! :( And its all my fault ! :/ Tomorrow die die must talk okay ? thought I have work the next day. Just gonna say , good and best of all luck for your exams ! Gonna post something later , about ya... yesterday you know ? I TREASURE ALL THIS DAYS WITH YOUUUU . Hugs , kisses , sweet dreams <3

Go sleep ! Tomorrow exam ! JIAYOU ! HAHA . HUGS AND KISSES .

Something its easy , so dont complicate it .

Yeahh , I dont care how you gonna think , or whatever , I know as long as a person is willing to try , he or she can do it. You may think I deserve something better , but everyone could be that better. Will always be proud of it. Dont ever blame cause its just avoiding. Yes true . Money cant buy happiness but it can buy you a something more comfortable. I just wanna say , I am happy that I spent my money all on our ddates as long as I could see your smile but I also have better plans , I also wanna see your future smile , thats why . You hate thinking , but try thinking positively. For what you reall need . Do give it a try.

GOOD NIGHT :)

Hello baby girl ! Hope you have fun today ! Hehe , I promise , once I get out of my own mess , we gonna always have fun :) Promise , you gonna be there yaaa ? Just hope you always keep that smile there , when theres problem always tell me , I dont want be the last one to know :( kay ? I love you , good nights ! SWEET DREAM YO . Hugs and kisses :)

Hello love !

Hey baby girl ! Good nights ! your having your sweet dreams now ! Gonna see you tomorrow morning !  Cant wait to see you :)

thanks for sharing your past with me today ! I really dont mind infact , I am happy that you shared so much cause this means you trusted me . i cant be someone like your ex but I will love you in my own ways haha :P , instead of doing this , I will do it in another way :P haha i love you ! loveee youuu ! tell me more things kayss ?

Hey baby girl :)

Happy two weeks ^^

dont no why this relationship so special , so fast we could went through so much . could last cause we love each other and truely cares despite the not enough understand of each other. really thank you <3  for all your love.

today met you in the morning :) super happy ! then send you home , after that you slept ! my pig hehe . your having so much thought , poor thinggyy :( just rmb I am there for ya okay ? smile always cause its the most prettiest thing i ever seen .and you tried waiting for me while you want me to enjoy with my bro , thanks love you , dont wanna wake you up . dont silly kay ? i also can text with you while with them luhh . love youu :)
jiayou with the things your fighting , ask me for advice or if you wanna rant at :) i would eventually let you hit me to let your anger out kay ? HEHE . love you HAPPY WITH YOU . NIGHTS SLEEP TIGHTS !

Sand bag :) Here I come.

The past is the reason I should love more.

Can we solve this understanding ?

You told me about trust , I never stopped trusting.

You promised to trust.

ALL words are REAL. I SWEAR. FROM THE START.

Avoiding ain't a choice.

But why ?

Promise to solve when theres problem.

Worried, at least your homed.

I never once lied , unless you know I am joking.

It will make you even hurt.

I wont let you go hungry.

When I heard you vomit , I was so....

You seem like you given up ... :(

Cause there always been trust..

I want to call you ... but I am crying ?

Did you eat your medicine ??

Whats the point ..

FUCK MY LIFE.

I will just cry for a few nights and I think I will be alright. Pillow will be there for me.

I didnt lied at all , I already told the truth. I distanced myself from all girls.

God , where is the promises you made ?

So worried ... No mood. 

Just go and remember what I said yesterday night , I said we were celebrating a girls birthday and I was explaining about her ? 

Your not alone.

Why avoid than face it , when you face fear , you will get stronger .
But if you chosen avoid , no one can help .
I am there .

Hi , still my dearest girl.

Hello , shall we stop avoiding ? Shall we handle this as soon as possible , love will fade if this carries on . Just think of yourself , is it worth it for yourself ? What do you really want ? There is no perfect in relationship , but there is relationship that gone through alot and still holding . Where are the promises we kept ? To me , I still want to hold on because I believe theres trust from both , love from both , we just lack the fighting spirit to carry this on . Come on baby girl , if you still have the same mindset , lets trust and move on . The more we go through , the more stronger we get.

TRUST
I TRUST YOU , doubt is the opposite of trust , I didnt doubt you at all , the problem isn't about trust cause trust is there ! Trust me that I trust you , stop listening to something that doesnt exist .

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

TO MY MOST PRECIOUS GIRL.

Heyy , my dear girl . I know , what I said something seems weird , you were my second relationship , to be honest , I never thought I would take in anymore relationship , I have promised myself to be single till after I broke up with my ex. The reason I ask you not to trust people easily was because I was so worried for you ,
because , we only knew two days you almost told me all the stuff , I am afraid someone else would hurt you . I dont want you to be hurt of course . And just now I wanted to text you because I super miss you , its because I am not allow to use phone but despite the punishment I just wanna text you and that mistakes me sending you the wrong thing , I wanted to type like why so sweet , and I never wanted you to be sweet with anyone else but me , but if you do , I have no choice , all I could do is to love you alright ? and sometimes I often text wrongly , the text would often be off from what I am trying express . For the teacher , she was my lifeskill teacher , the previous relationship , she helped me by giving advices from my previous relationship . therefore , if she knew about I having a new relationship , she would text me everyday and doubt me with moving on . but , I want you to know , I am not afraid to tell the whole world that your my girlf . its because I
love you . I really fallen deeply in love with you . I want you to be my wife . I want you to be my everything . I did everything I could to help this relationship , I check about the stages of love from my teacher so that I could make this relationship perfect , the worse nightmare is your frown , I am really serious about this relationship , I have never thought of playing with your feeling , trust will be build by time , not status . babygirl , promise not to even have a single lie anymore okay ? I know that your upset . to be honest I didnt want you to know that from the moment you reply with only a word , my heart aches , my mood totally change , but I told myself not to even give up , I trust you . my heart was pain all the way back home .